Let me start off by first explaining PDA. It's stands for Public Displays of Admonishment. After seeing the video I posted of me and my son many have had much to say. There are strong supporters on both sides. Though, most who are on the side of me going too far as a parent didn't bother looking at the video of my son cursing, pretending to be drunk, acting like a thug, and being sexually explicit. There was also another of him dancing in the classroom when he should have his tail in in his seat learning. This was all after he was told he couldn't not be a part of social media due to his age and maturity level.
I was very upset when I made my video, but would I change a thing...no. The video wasn't to become a media sensation it was part of his punishment outside of removing all technology from him. Although a few have stated I was scaring my child for life, I'd like to think I did the right thing. I was showing people who saw his video that I was a parent who is there. I didn't raise my child to behave the way he did and I know for a fact it would be more scaring to my child to end up in juvenile detention for his actions than for me exorcising my right for Public Displays of Admonishment.
I was surprised when his fellow students and even some parents reached out to me. I found out they too have had to deal with issues of parenting in the age of technology. When Kat Robertson contacted me with this message she posted on her daughter's Facebook page...
Hi,
my name is Briyana. I like to roll my eyes, shirk my chores, and take
for granted the WONDERFULLY supportive and caring family that God
blessed me with. And to add to that, I've now apparently lost my mind
and decided to further try my mother's patience by acting like I have no
home training at school. I've been caught passing notes in class,
reprimanded several times because I am not quite sure when I should shut
my mouth, and a teacher had to email my mother today because I thought
it would be a good idea to text on my phone while I was serving "silent
lunch" for talking excessively in class. Because I can't seem to get my
act together and my disobedient actions reflect absolutely NO respect
for God, myself, or my parents, as of today when I get home I will have
no phone so don't bother texting or calling me. My mom is also changing
my Facebook password so I won't be on here either. I sure hope I enjoy
the next 3 weeks at school because it will be the last bit of
socialization I get for a LONG time... at least until I learn more
self-control OR until I reach the age at which my parents will not be
responsible for my screw ups. --- HACKED BY MOM, Kat Robertson,
who couldn't possibly care less how embarrassed I get by this wall post
since I obviously don't care how badly I embarrass her.
...I wanted to hug and embrace her. It's hard enough being a parent and then you have technology added to it. She was a parent who'd been there and felt my pain. She too was a subscriber to the "Punishment Should Fit the Crime Club". In her words which I say often myself, "It’s not my place to be popular with my kids. It’s my place to be their
mother — to teach them, guide them, and make sure that the lessons they
learn are being learned in a way that they won’t forget. It’s not my job
to befriend them. It’s my job to PARENT them."
Kat is also a blogger and asks this question. How do you feel about the new PDA — public displays of admonishment? We
live in such a digital world that sometimes this is one of the best ways
to keep a child accountable for their actions. On the other side,
however, there are parents who believe that humiliating a child is not
appropriate regardless of how much a child humiliates his or her
parents. Where do you stand on this issue of digital parenting? Check out her blog How Far Should a Parent Go to Make a Point?
This is where I stand.
If faced with Parenting in the Age of Technology what would you do?
Omegia Keeys
I think what you did with Amari was necessary. When he looks back over his life, he will remember this as one of the times you truly showed that you care. Boys account for 70% of juvenile delinquency in the US. I think it should also be pointed out that as non-white children, our kids are always going to be more scrutinized and society will be more aware of how they behave. It's a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. We have to be hyperaware of what they are doing because they are watched more, followed more, and statistics show the racial disparity that exists in the justice system as minorities are grossly overrepresented when you look at incarceration of US juveniles - FIVE to one. Keep doing what you do, Omegia. Your son will appreciate it when he is a successful black man and he'll pray that he's lucky enough to marry a woman who will do the same with his own children.
ReplyDeleteLook here, you are the child's mother and if you felt that what you did would work for you than so be it. You are raising him, not anyone that watched that video. That is what is wrong with the kids now, they are brought up too soft. We didn't have all of this foolishness when we were growing up because we had discipline.
ReplyDeleteYou keep on doing what you are doing, he will think about it years from now and thank you, if not in person in his heart.